"Best Traffic Ticket Excuse Ever" Contest Winner
"Officer, I was speeding because I need to get home to feed a baby porcupine..."
Congratulations to the FIRST winner of one of the many contests that I plan to offer through my Substack. In my previous post (see below), I shared the story of how I pulled over a driver who ran a stop sign at 2am and I just figured he’d be another DUI. However, I was pleasantly surprised to discover the driver was a very sober (and cute!) chef who didn’t stop at the stop sign because he “didn’t want to ruin his food art.” He had won a contest after he created a pretty good replica of the Stone Henge, made from parsley and carrots!
Seriously, WHO WOULD GIVE A TRAFFIC TICKET FOR THAT? Not me!
So, I decided to run a contest to see if anyone had a funny ticket excuse that they could post in the comment section (at the bottom) of my post for a chance to win an autographed copy of my book PET TRACKER. Of course, MY food art story, since I wrote it and since this is my Substack, automatically wins first place in this contest. That’s the benefit of being the headcheese of this Substack—I can do whatever I want!
But there was only ONE person who posted a ticket excuse story in those comments and it was EMILY ASHLOCK. Emily once told a police officer who pulled her over that she was speeding because she “needed to get home to feed a baby porcupine.” And it worked—she got out of a ticket! So congratulations Emily for being the winner! I will contact you privately to make arrangements to send you your gift.
*** IMPORTANT ANNOUCEMENT ***
Starting tomorrow, I will be offering ONE MONTH (all of November, 2023) FREE participation in my 2-part “Solve This Mystery!” competitions HERE in my Substack! Eventually, these weekly games will only be available for PAID subscribers, but this is your chance to test it out and see if you think these are worth $7.00 a month. YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE A MOVIE these days for that price!
Part One will come in an email directly to you. I will explain the scenario, offer you different strategies to chose from, and you can then post your best guess in the comments section. A few days later, you’ll receive the Part Two email from me that will include the answers, the explanations for those answers, and the announcement of that game’s winner.
Come join the fun to see if you can “solve” cases for a chance to win prizes like an autographed copy of one of my books, a 30-minute consultation with me, a $150 discount off of my 40-hour online “MAR Field Course” pet detective training course, or (only if you’re involved in lost pet recovery work) a piece of lost pet recovery gear that I will personally ship to you.
These games will be both EDUCATIONAL and FUN!
Hahaha. Love this excuse! Baby porcupine :)